To Weather the Weather
The monster is coming. It’s been confirmed by the BBC. A national emergency has been declared. Get up from under the bed. Take your hands from your eyes. There is no escape so you may as well face it.
The weather, that is. Tomorrow will be hot and sunny. Okay, very hot and sunny. The hottest on record, apparently.
I get it. If it’s getting to 40 C you have to be careful. Heat stroke, dehydration, sunburn. It’s weather that demands respect. Stay in the shade. Don’t go running around. Stay hydrated. Don’t microwave your dog in the car. Every year it happens. In fact stay away from dog ownership entirely if you’re that much of a stupid, thoughtless fuckwit.
The recent news bulletins have forecast this event as if this is to be the end of civilisation as we know it. Okay, as a symptom of climate change it may be another trailer for the main event, but not the main event itself. We have at least until Tuesday.
But I have to hand it to them. They got me going for awhile. Is it really gonna be that bad? I could feel my anxiety levels creeping up. Then I was rescued by past images of loping for 10 days over the Thar desert on camels. That had to be forty degrees plus. Easy. And lying in the dead of night in Jasailmer when the electricity cut off and the ceiling fan conked out, feeling the heat build up as the air turned to thick molten lava and I raced Laura to be the first under the cold water pipe that acted as our shower. Standing there for minutes on end as the only place to be at such a time when in the heat of a dead zone with the mercury still rising.
Hanging out in various parts of the world, many of us have been there before. Okay, it’s pretty extreme weather for England but it’s seriousness is more to do with what it indicates in terms of our future together. For the day itself most of us will be fine. No need be screaming, it’s a national emergency. Okay. Good. I can take the paper bag from my mouth now.
Apologies for my earlier profanities on dog ownership, but my main concerns for now and the coming days are for my two beasts. Moth, in particular, does not do heat. As the heavier of the two and with her black fur, indeed, the poor girl suffers. This…